Just because the entire world seems to be obsessed with romance on one day in February doesn’t mean you have to. It’s a good excuse to eat chocolate for happy singles.
If, on the other hand, Valentine’s Day has you thinking about finding love, the holiday could be a good motivator to get started.
The approach of ‘you’ll find love when you’re not looking’ may be incorrect.
That’s akin to saying, “You’ll find a job when you least expect it,” according to Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert and sociology professor at the University of Washington. It is possible, but it is uncommon.
“Most people who are looking for work are unemployed,” she added. “It’s just an excuse for me not to go and put in the effort.” Yes, it occurs, but it is not a good strategy.”
Schwartz agrees with the underlying sentiment of that adage: “Don’t be desperate.” Make an effort to find someone, but don’t act as if any breathing body will suffice.
Go to places where people like the same things you do.
You can avoid singles events if you don’t like them, but you must go somewhere where you can meet people, according to Schwartz. Join social groups or meet-ups; volunteer for a cause you believe in; and become involved in political parties. At the very least, you’re doing something you enjoy, and at the very best, you’ll meet someone who shares your interests.
Take the plunge and try online dating for a large pool of potential candidates, suggests Schwartz. Try a different dating site if you’re already online.
Take your gaze away from your phone.
Good men and women can be found if you look, according to Bela Gandhi, a TODAY contributor and the founder of the Smart Dating Academy in Chicago. She is astounded by how often people complain about not meeting anyone but then go out and keep their heads down the entire time, staring at their devices.
Be present wherever you are and look around the room to see who is staring at you. She advised making three seconds of eye contact with the cute stranger and smiling as an invitation for him to come over and talk to you.
Seek partnership rather than romance.
According to Tina B. Tessina, a California psychotherapist known as “Dr. Romance” and author of “How to be Happy Partners: Working it Out Together,” romance is for dates, and it’s fun to have on occasion in your marriage, but partnership will get you through the tough times.
“Don’t seek someone who will sweep you off your feet. “You’re a control freak, and you won’t like what happens next,” she advised. “Look for someone who enjoys giving and taking, who seeks and considers your opinion, and who cares about what you want.”
Allow yourself some alone time.
It’s critical to take some time alone after a divorce or any break-up after a long relationship, according to Nicole Baras Feuer, a divorce coach with Start Over Smart in Westport, Connecticut. You can also find your love in our Nashik call girls.
“You’ll be in better shape to meet the ‘right’ person if you take time to heal, spend time alone to rediscover who you are, and reflect on what went wrong,”. “So that you don’t keep making the same mistakes.”
Sexual attraction fades quickly.
According to Gandhi, most good love is a slow burn that takes time to develop. She believes that attraction is important, but that you don’t have to feel it right away because that instant spark is more about lust than the stuff of real relationships.
Emotions can change and deepen over time, so give everyone a chance.
Understand your own requirements.
Do you require a large amount of space? Do you want lots of love? Do you need to know what’s going on all the time?
“Whatever your style is, it’s fine; however, you must be aware of it and be able to communicate it to your future spouse.” “If you both know what you need, you can train each other,” Tessina said.
Develop into a ‘psychotic optimist.’
“That means you believe you will find love at any cost; love is meant for you and will come to you, so you just have to date like hell until you find it,” Gandhi explained.
Must embrace the dating process, so adopting a “psychotic optimist” mindset will make it more enjoyable once you’re convinced that true love is truly out there for you. Gandhi advises dating three to five people at the same time until you find someone with whom you can be exclusive. Dating means “casually getting to know” someone, not sleeping with them. She advises waiting until you’re in a committed, exclusive relationship before having sex.
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